Sometimes I Get A Great Notion

My oldest just got home from school. She is giving me one-word answers when I ask her about her day. She is way too cool to talk to her mother.

ME: Do you have homework today?

SHE: Obviously.

ME: Do you need to use the computer?

SHE: No.

ME: Oh, that’s good, because I need to use the big desk. What kinds of homework do you have?

SHE: The usual.

ME: Meaning?

SHE: (a long-suffering hiss. a suck of air through clenched teeth.) Mom….

ME: It’s just that I’m terribly curious. You’re gone all day. I’d like to know what’s pouring into that head of yours.

SHE: Dust and ash. And other people’s hormones. And Middle School stinks. Because the boys don’t wash.

ME: Do you want to do your homework upstairs? Then we can work together.

SHE: I’ll think about it.

ME: Though I should warn you: I’m revising. I’ll probably start randomly reading out loud.

SHE: Your point? You always read out loud.

ME: It’s just that I’m warning you. Because I’ll sound like a crazy person.

SHE: (Heaving a great sigh.) Mom. I already know you’re a crazy person. It doesn’t matter what you sound like. I’ve known that since the day I was born.

Parenting, ladies and gentlemen. It’s not for sissies. Or people with low self-esteem.

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5 thoughts on “Sometimes I Get A Great Notion

  1. “Dust and Ash. And other people’s hormones.” You need to use this verbatim, somewhere, in one of your books. I don’t know if I’ve ever read such a succinct description of middle school anywhere. I can just taste it.
    Ew.

  2. I love this post. Having only a toddler at this point, I have no experience in these things but it’s something to think about. When he was a newborn, everyone lied and said it would get easier in a few months. I don’t think that’s the case. It only becomes more challenging in different ways.

  3. Several times I’ve read your posts to my family after dinner. I read them the ghost post, LOVED THAT, and I read this one last night (I have a 14 yr old son and an almost 13 yr old daughter). Because……I had the “one word answer” conversation with my daughter on the way to the bus stop yesterday morning! Everyone laughed because we could all relate. Thanks for adding humor to our day and for sharing your life experiences.

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