Incontrovertible Proof That My Kids Are Wierd (and awesome)

This morning, my son came downstairs, sat on my lap and breathed a reeky cloud of morning breath on my face. I coughed, gagged.

“Only the people we truly love ever get to smell our morning breath,” he said hugging me. “And I LOVE YOU. You’re the cutest mom.” So, sweet, annoying, adorable and random all within about fifty seconds. Not a bad start to the day.

We walked into the kitchen. My son held up his hands.

“WAIT!” he said. I waited. “Before I have my breakfast, I have to do my push-ups.” He dropped to the floor and did ten, his little muscles cording from his neck to his shoulders and down his arms. He stood.

“Just ten?” I said.

He nodded. “You’re right.” He did ten more.

“What would you like for breakfast,” I asked.

He thought about it. “A black bean burrito,” he said.

“For breakfast?”

“Duh,” he was mystified that I would ask. “It’s breakfast time.”

“All right,” I said. Who wants a black bean burrito for breakfast? I have no idea. But once I had heated the pan and assembled the various accoutrements for his breakfast, Leo came running back into the kitchen.

“WAIT!” he shouted.”ONE MORE THING!” He held his hands in the “stop” position.

I waited.

“Chopped kale,” he said.


“In my burrito. Chopped kale. Mixed in with the beans.”

I stood silently. The pan started to smoke.

“Please,” he added.

“All right,” I said. “One black bean and raw kale breakfast burrito coming right up.”

Leo leaped into the air, punching his little fists towards the ceiling. “YESSSS!” he shouted. “Today is gonna be AWESOME!”

And he ate the whole thing. I’ll let you know whether or not today was, indeed, awesome.

2 thoughts on “Incontrovertible Proof That My Kids Are Wierd (and awesome)

  1. Have you ever thought about writing a book entirely composed of sayings of Leo? You could call it “And Then Leo Said” or something like that. It would be so easy to write. You’d just have to look through your Facebook history and paste them onto your document. Done. Another option would be to convert them into a comic strip.

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